So I had my trial shift at The Breakfast Club today and while I was a bit slow and rusty at first, I definitely picked up by the end of it and got better and I think they could tell.
I really, really hope I get this. I need this job so much and it would be so good to stop worrying about money and have a job that may be stressful at times but is also gonna be a lot of fun. There’s a definite sense of community at the Hoxton cafe, and with the London Bridge hiring an entirely new staff, everyone would be in the same boat and I’d finally get to have actual work friends.
I want this so much.
Please. And thank you.
I feel extremely lonely right now.
Then I think about how I saw my boyfriend yesterday and I’ll most likely be seeing him tomorrow or Monday as well and I feel stupid.
But I don’t think that’s the source of how I feel now. It’s my friends. I know some of them are on holiday and some are just busy and/or bad at replying. But is this how it’s going to be from now on? University finishes and I just never see my friends again? It takes effort to meet up with people and stay in touch but so often it feels like I’m the one that’s trying to make plans and having them turned down or ignored.
Maybe I’m just in a rut, a rut that will hopefully be broken by the end of next week: the film should be over by then and here’s hoping my trial shift/interviews go well and I secure a job.
So, university is
over nearly over (despite having already graduated).
It will feel so good when Splitting Hairs is fully re-mixed and re-mastered and I can hand the hard drive to Behnam for storage and I don’t care where I am, or who I’m with I will be having a drink or ten to celebrate. The kind of celebration that everyone else had weeks/months ago when their roles had finished.
But even when it’s finished and over, the inevitable and cliched question comes around the corner, “what now?”
In all honesty, I don’t know.